Traveling and the Crazy Obsession

So here I sit in the departure lounge, waiting for my flight to Toronto, Canada for a cousin's wedding. Actually, the wedding is in a podunk little town about an hour and a half out of the big city. We're spending a day and a night in Toronto and then heading for Waterloo. I'm meeting my friend for dinner and a short walk around downtown.

Fortunately, the Travel Gods decided that I did not need to be given a “random search” today. I get pulled aside almost every time we travel. My name's Ahmed Hussain, so I don't blame them, but they should have the balls to at least admit that the searches aren't random-number-generator random. I always get the dreaded quadruple S's written on my boarding card. SSSS. The first time I got it, I was traveling with some friends. Not knowing why I had this anomaly on my boarding pass, we mused as to what the letters could mean as we waited in the long security line. We eventually settled on “super sexy strip search.” Oh boy, that wasn't even the half of it. The first half, at least. The second half was true. I always get taken to that special room. My carry-on bags get tested for bomb residue.

This has happened since I was about 10 years old. When I travel, I specifically wear clothes that are easy to take off and put on.

That being said, I still love to travel. I've had this fascination with airplanes ever since I was little. I can recognize any airplane from any angle. My friends make fun of me for my obsession with liveries. Love those, too. I love the way they change over time, or how the simplest schemes result in the most striking aircraft (looking at you, KLM). I guess it's somewhat crazy, but I can't help it, really. Airplanes are just so cool. And the strangest thing is, I haven't got the slightest interest in military aircraft. Back in elementary school, when it was actually cool to dig planes, everyone had a favorite fighter jet—the Eagle, the Hornet, whatever. In first grade, I thought the Airbus A340 was the coolest thing in the world. I still do, actually. Long and slender, it's the most graceful plane that requires the “heavy” air traffic control identifier. Almost as capacious as the 747, it's the subtle workhorse. I usually don't tell this to people. I could get institutionalized for saying that.